RSVP deadlines and chasing late replies
Set the RSVP deadline one to two weeks before your venue or caterer needs final numbers, send invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding (earlier for destination weddings), and plan two reminders: one a week before the deadline and a personal follow-up the day after it.
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Start from the date your suppliers need numbers
Your RSVP deadline isn't the date you need numbers. It's the date you need numbers minus the time you'll spend chasing. Ask your venue, caterer and anyone seating guests when they need final numbers, dietary needs and the table plan, and take the earliest.
| When | What |
|---|---|
| 6 to 12 months before | Save the dates, with a link to your wedding website |
| 6 to 8 weeks before (10 to 12 for destination weddings) | Invitations go out with the RSVP link and deadline |
| 2 weeks before the deadline | Check who hasn't opened the invitation; resend to the wrong addresses |
| 1 week before the deadline | First reminder to everyone who hasn't replied |
| The day after the deadline | Personal follow-up: a text or call from you or a family member |
| 1 to 2 weeks after the deadline | Final numbers, meals and dietary needs to the caterer; seating plan finalised |
These are conventions, not rules. If your caterer needs numbers four weeks out, move everything earlier.
Put the deadline where guests will see it
- On the invitation, in words: "Kindly reply by Friday 12 February 2027."
- At the top of the RSVP page on your website, not only in the footer.
- In every reminder, with the link.
Kindly reply by Friday 12 February 2027 at [your website address]
Reminder wording
Hi Sam, a quick reminder that RSVPs for our wedding close on Friday 12 February. It only takes a minute: [link]. We'd love to know if you can make it!
Hi Sam, we're finalising numbers with our caterer this week and haven't got your RSVP yet. Could you let us know by Tuesday whether you can come, and any dietary needs? [link]
Hi Sam, just checking you got our invitation. We need final numbers tomorrow; are you able to join us on the 27th?
Tactics that get replies
- Make replying take a minute. A link that opens on a phone, with no app or account, gets more replies than a form that asks guests to sign up.
- Send the reminder from the tool that holds the list. Then it goes only to people who haven't replied, and nobody who answered gets nagged.
- Chase by household, not by person. One message to the couple who hasn't replied, not two.
- Hand the stragglers to someone they know. A parent or friend asking "are you coming?" works where an email doesn't.
- Don't count silence as a no. Ask directly; people assume they replied when they meant to.
When the deadline passes
After one reminder and one personal follow-up, set a cut-off for yourself and tell the caterer. Most venues allow small changes after final numbers; ask yours how late, and whether it charges for no-shows.
RSVP websites that help you chase
WedBuild shows who hasn't replied at a glance and sends reminder emails to just them, with open tracking, on its Standard plan (A$99 once); on the free plan you can see who's outstanding and email them. Joy's guest list page lists automatic reminders to guests who haven't replied, WedSites sends reminders to unconfirmed guests on its paid plans, and Say I Do and Zola sell SMS as an extra. See the full ranking for the rest.
Questions
How far before the wedding should the RSVP deadline be?
Usually three to four weeks before the wedding, or one to two weeks before your caterer needs final numbers, whichever is earlier.
How do I politely chase wedding RSVPs?
Send one friendly reminder a week before the deadline with the link, then follow up personally by text or call after it. Keep it short and give a reason, such as finalising numbers with the caterer.